Most of the comments from the past seem the same:
"feel like I live in a bubble"
|"square peg in round hole"
|few Christian friends, expectation to shut up,


I have the comments from pastor from 2004:

"can't have close friends because I expect too much empathy"  I don't remember this at all but there was enough other things to lose track of this.

"very hard on people, expect too much, but I am harder on myself and need to relax"
"when people don't meet your needs you hurt them - do you know you do this?"

Therapist 2004:

Two Vicki's - soft Vicki - sees, feels, hears, wants validation.
                      after time with no result hard Vicki protects by forcing the issue

Use "I feel" statements rather than "I think"

"Note:  do people want you to get mad?  Don't let them use hard Vicki for their benefit as soft Vicki pays the price".


 March 23 2009  retreat at St Johns Convent - during break from seminary
decided to go to Calvin awaiting Council (which happened in late spring with chair bullying and me leaving the church)

"my call feels sad, I minister aas another broken, not above it but in need of Christ.  No feelings of lofty calling only the pig wallowing son - not the righteous brother.  Good?  Bad?  I don't know - I pray that my steps are measured against God's well., Guide me, push me!

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Ha, a blast from the past.